When you are in a conversation with a girl and you want to compliment her, what are some things you would say? You may say something like “I love your dress!” or “You are so pretty!” and those are both nice things to say.
But does it make a girl feel good about herself or does it make her think “I’ve heard this line one too many times.”
The key to giving a compliment is to be genuine about what you tell a girl and to make her feel warm and fuzzy about it. I’m going to show you how to deliver a compliment properly so a girl doesn’t just look at you and roll her eyes or say “thank you” but not really mean it.
Why generic compliments don’t work
Back when I used to be a professional computer gamer I would go to a bunch of tournaments in Los Angeles. The very first tournament I went to a guy came up to me and said “dude, you are SO good at this game.” It made me feel great about myself. Throughout the day about 4 or 5 more guys came up and congratulated me on being so good at the game. It still felt good, but every time I heard the same compliment it had a little less oomph.
At another tournament I attended, a guy came up to me and said something I still remember every word “Mike, do you have A.D.D.?” I replied “Yes.” He responded “I can tell by the way you play video games. You are constantly moving around checking every location for enemies, and I think it’s what helps you have such quick reaction time.”
Why did that compliment make me feel so good about myself? For once, someone took the time to analyze me beyond the exterior and break down my skillset in the form of a compliment. It doesn’t happen very often, but it feels great when it does.
Now, do you think a girl who hears “You are so beautiful” is hearing it for the first time in her life? No way. She’s probably been hearing it since she was 5 years old. There’s nothing wrong with telling a girl she’s beautiful, but if that’s the only good thing you have to say about them, you should probably look for someone else.
How to compliment like a man
Stop talking and start listening.
There is 1 big secret I use to help me know exactly how to compliment a girl and it is listening.
If you really pay attention to people when making conversation, you will learn a ton about them. You will be given the knowledge to compliment and probably even criticize, but let’s focus on just the complimenting for now.
A very effective way of constructing a compliment is through observation.
When my sister came back from studying abroad in Europe her and I were talking and she mentioned that she noticed something different about the people in Europe. She said “You know, when you are speaking to people in Europe, they are actually listening to what you have to say. But when you speak to people out here, it’s almost like they’re just waiting for their turn to speak.”
I thought that was a brilliant observation and a great compliment to the Euros. I was at the Zentrepreneur conference run by Vishen Lakhiani and the Mindvalley guys in Dominican Republic a few weeks ago with my buddy Neil Patel and he gave a talk on business.
After Neil spoke about 25-30 people came up to him and said the exact same thing. “Hey man, great speech.” Then a guy named Matt from Panama came up to Neil and said “Neil, I judge the quality of a speech by asking myself if I am going to change my outlook or the way I run my business. I’m excited to get back to Panama so I can start implementing some of the things I learned from you, thanks.”
That was a great compliment! It was sincere, had depth, and warm and fuzzy.
Compliments women love
Staring at her –
Look her in the eyes while she’s talking to you. Smile sometimes while making eye contact just for the sake of smiling. It’s a non verbal way to let her know you are enjoying her company. It also demonstrates confidence to lock eyes when you smile or have something nice to say.
Compliment her skills –
If she tells you she is an artist have her show you some of her work. Chances are she has some on her cell phone. If you like her work, compliment her on it. Make sure you don’t just compliment a girl when she tells you she does something. You should find out more about what she does, see if she can give you examples of it, and then compliment her.
Amplifying an ordinary compliment –
Instead of telling a girl she’s beautiful, you can go into detail to make it more powerful and sincere. “You are beautiful because…”
Point out her uniqueness –
If you really like a girl you can say “I wish more women were like you.” By telling her this, you are basically telling a woman she sets a perfect example for other women.
What to do after you compliment
The last thing you want to do after delivering a great compliment is completely ruin the moment. I’ve seen guys do this too many times and it’s always by doing the same thing.
A guy gives the girl a compliment, and after she thanks him, he just stands there awkwardly. She’s staring at him waiting for him to do or say something, but he doesn’t he just stands there like a wall.
I don’t know if guys do this because they are thinking to themselves “I’m the man! I just gave her a great compliment” or because they don’t know where to take it from there so here’s a little tip.
Carry on the conversation as if nothing happened. You want the girl to know it’s a part of your every day life. You are used to giving compliments and expressing your opinion. And secondly, don’t expect something in return. Just because you said something nice to her does not give the girl an obligation to say something nice back to you. If she does compliment you back, that’s cool too. Accept the compliment and keep talking to her.
Above all else, be honest and sincere. Don’t make something up just to get her to smile or to get you laid. To understand how to compliment a girl, the best ones are sincere.
From the moment you see her to when you’re making conversation, what do you think of her? What’s unique about her? What attracts you to her? Find something you genuinely like about her, then tell her. Be specific and don’t make it dramatic or over the top. Show interest, but keep it cool. Too much interest is just as bad as none.