I have a friend who complains to me all the time about how women aren’t nice. Let’s call him Joe for now to make the story easier. Joe says he’s tired of getting blown off by them. The same things happen to him over and over.

One thing Joe complains about is approaching women. He goes up to them to say hello, and often times they don’t give him the time of day.

Another thing he always complains about is flakey numbers. He will finally get a girls number and then it’s either wrong or she doesn’t answer.

And finally, what Joe hates most is when he takes a girl out on a date and while he thinks it went well, she doesn’t return his phone calls.

Women have become somewhat of a puzzle to Joe and he just can’t seem to piece it together. So the question for Joe remains, are women these bitchy creatures sent from hell or is he doing something wrong?

Why women come off as bitches

Have you ever approached a girl in a bar and she told you off within seconds? You may be the coolest guy on the planet but she didn’t even take the opportunity to get to know you.

The reason women act this way is simple. We’ll have to do some basic math and use our imaginations a bit to see the answer clearly but it’s worth it so let’s do it.

Imagine you are an attractive girl. At age 5 your mother, father, teachers, and peers tell you that you’re beautiful.

Then from age 12 – 18 guys are hitting on you all the time. They’re feeding you compliments about how pretty you are and asking you out regularly. By the time you turn 21, you’ve probably already been hit on conservatively at least once a week for the last 5 years.

That’s 260 times!

Now you’re 21 years old and it’s time to start going to bars/clubs. You decide to go out once a week for a year. Remember, you are an attractive woman so guys are more likely to hit on you. On an average night out you have about 6 guys hit on you.

Go out once a week = 52 weeks in a year + 6 guys hit on you a night = 312

That’s 312 guys hitting on you in a year!

Add the 312 guys from the age of 21 with the 260 guys who hit on you in your younger years, you’ve been hit on over 500 times!

With all that in mind I want you to imagine something else. Imagine you were the nicest girl ever and couldn’t say no to people. What would your schedule look like?

It would be endless dates with men and you’d have no time to get anything else in your life done.

So what do you think women are going to do when you approach them at a bar. Sit there and give you the time of day along with every other guy who hits on them?

Hell no. As my friend Kelsey says “Ain’t nobody got time for that.”

So what do girls do to prevent from wasting time?

They filter.

It’s no different than a guy searching for a job on craigslist and filtering out all companies who offer below a certain pay. (Not calling girls gold diggers. We can talk about that in another article)

As a guy you shouldn’t get mad about that. Why should a girl have to entertain your approach when you don’t meet certain criteria she has. Females have no obligation to you. They can hear you out or tell you to fuck off and you can’t do a damn thing about it.

I bet you’re wondering if there’s a way to get by even when you don’t meet her criteria.

Guess what? You’re in luck. There’s a way!

You need to learn how to approach. There is a method to it. And it doesn’t require looking like a boxer model.

Here are a few pointers:

If there’s one thing I’ve learned through all my hard work it’s the myth of the “great opening line.”

New guys will come to me for advice, and expect to learn an ironclad, rejection-proof opening line guaranteed to get every girl interested.

There really is no magic bullet for an opening line. What’s important is

  1. When you see a girl you want to talk to, don’t hesitate
  2. Walk up to her not knowing what you are going to say. It will come off more spontaneous and feel natural
  3. Speak loud, clear, and slowly.
  4. Don’t lean in

I have an entire chapter in my free guide “How to be a Chick Magnet” detailing how to approach hot women. You can get it on the sidebar of my site.

What men need to do 

So here is what we’ve learned so far. Women filter. They weed out all the guys who don’t make the cut in the first 5 seconds of conversation.

Guys, it doesn’t matter who you are, how you see yourself, or what you look like. What does matter is that you are willing to take the advice I’m going to give you.

Forget about physical appearance for a minute. If you are 5’4 and she likes tall guys you can’t do anything about that. So let’s focus on what all girls are naturally attracted to and improve on that.

So what are some non-physical attraction switches for women?

  • Confident
  • Humorous
  • Extraverted
  • Well spoken
  • Genuine

Now you may not be the most confident guy, the funniest guy, or the most outgoing guy, but there is something all men can do. We can all try our best.

This is the most important thing to take from this article –

Meeting and attracting women is about being your “best” self.

If you don’t feel confident it doesn’t mean you have to go up to a girl and whisper because you’re too afraid to speak LOUD like a MAN. Anyone can do it.

Actors do it all the time.

I’m not just telling you to do this like the basketball coach telling the player to do something when he’s never stepped foot on the court before. I’ve been through it. I’m going to tell you a story that made me realize that all my fears and doubts about women were imaginary. They were just in my head.

The very first time I went out to a club to hit on girls was with my wingman DJ Fuji. He drove over an hour to meet at my place before heading out. This was our first time ever meeting each other too.

When we arrived at the club, Fuji walked right up to 2 girls and started chatting them up. Five minutes later he came back over and said “Ok your turn.” I had never approached strangers before. I felt weird and uncomfortable.

Fuji pointed out two cute girls sitting on a bench. “Go.” I thought for a second, and then I looked down and noticed my hands were sweaty. I Nervously mumbled “Sorry I can’t do it.” Fuji was not happy. He replied “You are talking to those girls.”

Have you ever been nervous about something and become defensive or angry as a result? That’s what happened to me.

I said “I’m sorry Fuji I know you drove all the way down here to go out with me but there is NO WAY I am talking to those girls. You can get right back in your car and drive home for all I care.”

Fuji said “That’s fine don’t worry about it.” He then proceeded to walk up to the girls and say “Hey, see my friend over there? He’s too afraid to talk to you guys. Why don’t you call him over?”

The girls looked at my giggling and said “Hey, we don’t bite. Come talk to us.”

The next 3 seconds felt like the longest 3 seconds of my life. Now I was nervous, angry, and humiliated. But what choice did I have at this point?

A)   Turn the other way and run, leaving my manhood behind

B)   Talk to the girls.

*Kamo gasps for air* Forgetting to breath for a moment I took a deep breath and walked over.

“Hey girls.”

Fast forward fifteen minutes and the girls excused themselves from our conversation politely. I looked at Fuji, then down at my body. Much to my surprise, I still had all my fingers and toes. No bite marks. Wow, all that built up fear in my mind and nothing happened? Pretty much.

Conclusion

If you can realize the fear of women is imaginary the same way I did, your results will go through the roof. Unfortunately you can’t do it from your computer chair.

The only way is by approaching women. By putting yourself in those uncomfortable situations.

You might get rejected by the first 10 women you approach or the first woman may become your girlfriend. They key is to not get down on yourself.

Keep in mind when a girl denies you in the first minute of conversation she’s not rejecting you as a person, she’s rejecting your approach. Trust me 1 minute is not long enough to get to know someone.

Yes girls can be bitchy especially if you walk up to them like a coward afraid to proudly say Hello. But girls are harmless. In fact most of them are sweet little angels.

Go out there and talk some ladies 🙂