Sometimes you’re just not looking for a serious relationship.
Maybe you got dumped and you’re not really over it. Or maybe it’s a super-busy time in your career, and you don’t have time for that kind of commitment.
Whatever the case, one thing is almost certainly true: you’re not getting enough sex in your life.
There are two ways to look at this problem. You could either lament the fact that your sex life is in hibernation mode, or you can approach it as a fantastic opportunity to hone your game and improve your confidence with women.
Obviously, I prefer take the second approach. Just because you don’t want anything serious, doesn’t mean you have to stop being with women.
On the contrary, it’s a great time to experiment, to get better at meeting women in the first place, and to try new and exciting ways to rock a woman’s world in the bedroom (or elsewhere!).
For the purposes of this article, let’s assume a few things.
First, you’re at a place in your life where you’re not looking for anything serious. Second, you’re a normal, sex-crazed, testosterone-pumping male who digs beautiful women. And finally, that you’d love a few flings right now or, at most, to meet a new friend with benefits.
If that’s where you’re at in life, this article is for you. I’m going to concentrate on the bar scene, since that’s a great place to execute these strategies.
Your goal: to meet a beautiful woman and to sleep with her the same night.
1. Go Early
The bar scene is a gigantic numbers game. There will be women and there will be men. Your job is to make the numbers work to your advantage.
Most bars are over 50% women at 10 p.m., but the numbers change quickly. By midnight it’s usually crossed over, with more guys than girls. And by 2 a.m. you’re looking at more like 70% guys. If you don’t show up until midnight and don’t work up the courage to talk to a girl until 1:30 a.m., you’re going to fail.
Go early, and you’ll have your pick of the women in the room.
2. Approach Women Early to Exploit the “Liquid Courage” Factor
The percentages are one thing, but there’s also a pattern to most guys’ behavior that you can turn into a huge advantage for you. Most guys will show up at a bar and drink for an hour or two before starting to approach girls.
I call it the “liquid courage” factor. It means that most guys think they need to drink first before they can start approaching women.
This is a HUGE opportunity for you. It means that at 10 p.m. most bars are full of single women who haven’t yet been approached by a man.
Contrast that to the approaches you make at 1:30 a.m., when every girl in the place has already been hit on by at least three or four guys. By that point, they’re probably just getting tired of it.
My advice: arrive early, get your drink, then start approaching women immediately, within minutes of arrival if at all possible.
Remember, you’re single and you’re there to hook up, not sit at the bar and get yourself plastered in hopes of landing a girl later in the evening.
3. Stay With Her
You got there early, you approached right away, and hit it off from the start.
Some guys, so obsessed with approaching as many women as possible in a night, will stay with a woman like this for a while, then leave to go approach other women.
Their thought (I can only guess) is that if they hit it off with a few women over the course of an evening, they’ll increase their chances of going home with one of them that night.
Don’t be this guy.
This guy ends up sitting with his buds at the end of the night, talking about all the great women they met, but then watching as other, smarter guys ride out of the joint with those same women on their arms.
When you’ve hit it off with a woman, stay with her. Period. Don’t leave for even a minute, or some other douchebag is going to slide in, strike up a conversation, and steal her away.
By staying with her, you show that you’re interested in her, and only her, and you give her friends a chance to get comfortable with you too, which becomes critical once you start trying to figure out logistics.
4. If It Goes Sour, Walk Away Immediately
You don’t have to be a jerk about it, but if you can tell things aren’t going anywhere with the woman you’re talking to, walk away immediately.
Remember, the clock is not your friend in the bar scene. You’re there to score. As it gets later into the evening, your odds of success get worse and worse.
5. Ask About Logistics
You’ve got your woman and you’re 15-20 minutes into conversation. This is the time to ask about logistics.
Did she drive or ride with a friend? What part of town did they come from? Does she live with her parents or does she have an apartment?
Bad logistics is almost worse than completely striking out with a woman. At least then you’ve saved yourself some time and can move on to the next opportunity.
Gather your intel and decide if it’s logistically possible for one of you to end up at the other’s place for the evening.
If so, stay with her and keep the good vibes going. But if not, you’ve got a decision to make. You have two choices really. The first is to ask for a phone number and be content for a future first date.
That’s ok if you’re truly wanting to see her again. But, as is our premise in this article, you’re trying to sleep with the girl, not just get her number.
Is she wild? Would she have sex with you in the bathroom or in your car? Those are legitimate choices if no other options are available. You just have to judge what kind of girl she is.
If a phone number is all you think you can get, then you might want to just get the number and bail. You can move on and try your chances with a few other women before calling it a night. But if you do, move it to another bar. If the first girl sees you hitting on someone else that night, that number you got just became worthless.
6. Don’t Fight the Cockblock
Speaking of logistics, the girl’s friends are often the biggest obstacle to overcome in order to hook up with her that night.
When a friend voices an objection: “How will I get home?” or “I don’t think I trust him,” just be quiet and let the girl you’re after handle it.
It’s actually a really important moment, because the way the girl responds to her friend will tell you everything you need to know about whether you’re going to get some that night.
If she balks at working things out with you and instead sides with her friend, you’re done. Ask for her number if you want, but it’s time to move on.
But, the last time this happened to me, the girl cut off her friend and simply said, “He can come home with us.” If that’s how she responds, check your pocket to make sure you brought protection. Cause you’re in my friend.
7. Don’t Drink too Much
Here’s a final tip that’s valid for the entire evening: alcohol will ruin your chances of hooking up.
If you absolutely must have a drink or two before you can get the courage to approach women, then go to some other bar or restaurant ahead of time and have a few pregame beverages.
Then move on to the bar you hope to meet women at. Once you’re there keep your drinking to a minimum.
Because, if you’re done it right, at some moment, that beautiful woman, the one you normally would have seen walk out with some other loser, is going to lean in close to you, put her hand on your thigh, and whisper seductively in your ear, “let’s go back to my place.”
When that moment happens, you better be sober enough to drive. Got it?
This is one of those posts that I hope changes some of your lives. If you’re single and frustrated, you could sit a home moping about how you can’t find a good girl to be with. Or you could use this time in your life as an opportunity to grow your confidence in ways you never thought possible.
You might strike out the first time you go out and try these tips. You might even strike out many times before you get it right.
But keep at it. These strategies work if you execute them correctly, and that first time you get a girl to come home with you – that will change your life. It’ll give you confidence that you can approach, meet, connect with, and bring home women any time you want.
And as I’ve said many times before, money, good looks, and social status are great, but it’s confidence really attracts beautiful women more than any other quality in a man.
Good luck my friends.
How’d it go? Let me know what successes you had in the comments below.