A woman’s body can tell you everything you need to know about whether she’s into you.
Here’s a perfect example: I like to work in coffee shops occasionally. I say “occasionally” because I rarely get much work done, so I don’t go when I have something big I’m working on.
I know a lot of people who also like to hang out at the shops in my area, and one of them usually shows up and plops down next to me for an impromptu 2-hour chat about nothing in particular.
And if that doesn’t happen, there always seems to be a quiet young woman tucked away in the corner with a coffee and a book. And me being who I am, I can never resist trying to meet her.
I’m always looking for “research” opportunities I can do and then share the results with you. Especially during the day in a coffee shop when I have no competition.
Yesterday was just such a day.
Her name was Nicole and she was petite, brunette, and reading some really smart-sounding business book while drinking a Starbucks Mocha.
She was nice, but nothing came of it, which happens.
It was instructive all the same, because I could tell right from the get-go that this girl wasn’t going to be a catch for me, despite the fact that she was pleasant, super-responsive to my questions, and full of smiles and laughter during our 10-minute conversation.
How did I know? Because her body told me she wasn’t really interested.
So I wished her well and went and found my own table, where, for once, I did get some work done, including the outline for this blog post.
I want to share with you how I knew what was going to happen with Nicole within the first 5 minutes of our conversation. I’m also going to share some easy ways to know when a girl is into you, even if her words aren’t saying as much.
Use these tips to determine when to hang in there and when to bail.
1. The “Quick Look Away” = Curiosity
If you see a girl glance at you and then quickly look away, that’s a good sign for you. Especially if you catch her doing it more than once. She’s checking you out, even if she’s a too shy to do so openly.
Here’s how to play this situation correctly:
First, give her the chance to look. Turn your body position and your head so that she can see you from the side. Stay in that position for a minute or two. If you’re out with friends, talk casually to them as you normally would. If you’re reading or working in a coffee shop, just keep doing so.
The idea here is to give her the chance to really size you up, without you constantly catching her in the act.
Once you’ve given her the chance to look at you without getting caught, she’ll probably be staring openly. So, just turn your head and smile at her. She’ll usually smile and avert her gaze, embarrassed at being caught so openly.
At this point, do yourselves both a favor: get up from your chair, go over to the girl and introduce yourself. At that moment, it’s what she wants more than anything in the world anyway.
The other option, by the way, is to just stare her down as soon as you notice her initial interested glances. Just be careful not to scare the girl off. You already know she’s probably the shy type. Otherwise she would be at your table talking you up by this point.
2. Big Eyes = Attention
It’s been scientifically proven that when we are totally focused on something that attracts us (especially if it’s a member of the opposite sex) our pupils dilate. And yes, if you’re observant, you can see this happen.
Watch especially for the action of her eyes. Is she locked in with her eye contact, paying attention to what you’re saying and nothing else? If so, chances are good she’s into you, at least for the moment.
Now would not be the time to get up, walk away and go hang with your buddies, by the way. This is the time to sit where you are and work this girl to see where it might go.
As a side note: if her eyes are tight and she’s sort of squinting at you a lot, that’s a sign she’s not into you (or that you’re out in the sun in the middle of summer).
3. Pointed Toes = Interest
I saw this on display at the last happy hour I went to. We had one of those big long tables, and of the young women at our group was trying everything she could to catch the attention of some guy over at the bar.
She’s shy and didn’t want to make the first move, and she didn’t want to stare openly at him the whole time. But she made sure she was seated with a good sight-line to him and had her body and feet pointed in his direction the entire night, regardless of where she was looking.
It’s true of all of us really. Subconsciously, we tend to align our torsos and our feet toward whatever we’re currently interested in.
If a woman’s body and toes are pointing at you, you should trot your little butt over to her and introduce yourself, even if she’s visually looking away from you. She might be too shy to look your way, but her body gives her away. She’s waiting for you to come say hi.
Sadly, the guy never caught on, and both he and the young lady went home alone. The clues were there. It could have been a much different night for both of them.
4. Grooming = Attraction
Once you’ve started talking to a woman, if you notice that she’s doing any sort of personal grooming, that’s a sign that she’s attracted to you.
The grooming can take many forms. The most common one is playing with the hair: usually pushing it back behind an ear or twirling it around a finger.
Playing with an earring or other jewelry can also be signs of attraction, though you have to be careful here. Some women nervously play with their rings all the time, so you have to rely on the things she’s saying to confirm if the body language is actually an indication of attraction instead of just a habit.
If you see grooming of the hair or consistent playing with an earring, just stay the course. That girl is into you. Just keep doing what you’re doing and it’s likely you’ll get to the next step in our list.
5. Red Chest = Arousal
It might take a little longer than 5 minutes, but a reddening chest is a sure sign of sexual arousal. Obviously, then, this one only works better on a woman showing her cleavage, but it can work well even with a girl in a regular t-shirt, especially if she’s fair-skinned.
If you’re getting positive vibes from a girl and you see that her skin has turned red from her breasts up to her neck and upper arms, she’s sexually aroused, and probably by you. This is more than just initial interest. It’s not quite panty-soaking, nipple-hardening sexual passion. But it’s getting there.
If you see this, you’re probably in for a memorable night. Just keep doing whatever you’re doing, and start looking for an opportunity to take her home.
Body language isn’t quite mind-reading, but it’s close. If you know what to look for, you can almost always tell whether a girl is into you or not within minutes of meeting her.
At the same time, the journey from first introduction to “Wanna come up?” is a long one. The steps are: curiosity, attention, interest, attraction, and arousal. For each step in the process, there’s a specific set of body language tells you should be able to spot, once you’ve practiced looking for them.
The great thing is that you can do this with any woman, any time, anywhere, regardless of whether you’re actually hitting on her or not. Flirting is a natural part of most every male-female interaction. The next time you’re talking with a girl, whatever the context, see if you can spot any of these signs.
And if you’re single, now’s the perfect time to build the skills to work a woman all the way through this process.
If you can get good at it, you’ll dramatically increase your chances at successfully meeting women. You’ll know when to hang with a woman and try to get her to open up to you, and you’ll know when to cut your losses and move on.
Just knowing when to walk away can make a huge difference in your love life, because it will keep you from getting bogged down and allow you to talk only to the women who actually show interest in you.
What tips do you have for reading women? Anything you know that’s a sure-fire sign the girl is, or isn’t, into you?