You’ve approached a girl and she’s given you an immediate positive reaction. Great. Unfortunately, that’s all the initial approach is good for – to get your foot in the door. But, as you probably know, just getting your foot in the door with a woman doesn’t mean you are guaranteed to get her.
The approach is actually a very small part of getting the girl. Now you have to do the hard part and keep her interested. The fact that she hasn’t given you the “go away creep” look means you have a shot with her. So if you knock it out of the park with your opener, you are off to a good start.
The first thing you say should be catchy, not cheesy. Most guys don’t really know what to say so they go to the lame, “so, do you come here often?”
Could you be any more boring? It might help you improve the number of women you are able to converse with, but those conversations won’t last. However, there isn’t any one topic or opening line that is full-proof and guaranteed to impress every time.
Different women are impressed by different things. Your opener might knock the socks off one girl and irritate the heck out of the next. The smart play is to take some risks. Women like that. But, again, not every woman will. Some will be put off by the risky comments you make. Others will see it as you displaying confidence.
A risky opener that works…sort of
Here’s the thing. If you don’t have any balls, getting women is going to be difficult. That’s because in order to have success with women, you have to deal with rejection from time to time. Like I said, I want you to use a somewhat risky opener, which means you’ll turn off some women immediately.
But that’s okay, because the women that do respond positively to your opener will almost always put out. I already mentioned how a safe, “how about this weather” opener won’t do you any good even though you’ll almost always get an answer. Now I’m going to give you one that won’t spark as many (short) conversations, but will lead to more sex:
“You are incredibly gorgeous; I had to come say hello”
This is a simple opener that we call “direct.” Let’s take a look at why this works. First off, you must know that it’s going to scare some women away. Beautiful women are complimented on their looks tons of times every time they go out.
So, to some women, this line will be nothing more than an annoying compliment. So you’re going to get some sarcastic, “thanks” responses or, “sorry but I have a boyfriend”. So be it.
This is a high risk, high reward line. While it will get you turned down a number of times, the women that respond positively will be easy to get in bed. You’ll know right away if you have a good chance at getting the girl based on her response. If it isn’t a positive response, move on. Don’t even waste your time.
If the response is great and she smiles and says something like, “wow, thank you, that’s very sweet of you”, you have a good shot at getting her.
This line isn’t a guarantee to impress the woman. You have to use it on the right woman. How do you know if she’s the right woman for a line like this? Well, you don’t. But that’s okay because, remember, who cares about getting rejected? We’re looking for quality here, not quantity.
Other types of openers
Don’t have the confidence to pull off that one-liner? Fine, let’s take a look at some other openers that are less risky, yet have potential. The first type of opener I like to call is a “social opener”. This is a low-risk opener that has advantages and disadvantages.
Social opener – Is the same type of line you would use if you were starting a conversation with a friend or some dude you just met. “Hey, how are you?” and “what are you to tonight?” are examples of social openers. They’re short questions used just to get a conversation going.
The downside to this type of opener is you can’t build immediate sexual chemistry with a line like this. You’re speaking to her sort of like she’s a buddy. You won’t get the, “go away creep” response with this one much – if ever – but she might just think you’re only trying to make some new friends.
If she thinks you seem friendly, she might chat with you. And that’s all fine and dandy, but you have to then build up sexual chemistry from there. That’s not easy to do, but it is possible. With a line like the one I brought up earlier, you’re establishing a sexual connection right off the bat. There’s no building to do from there.
Situational opener – This is where you just let it flow naturally. Before approaching a woman, you come up with a line and then run with it. You don’t actually have to be natural at this, although that certainly helps. But you shouldn’t approach her until you have thought up a good line.
Here’s an example. Let’s say you’re at a bar and notice a beautiful girl sitting next to you. You want to approach her but have no idea what to say. Someone witty would come up with something creative within seconds and would then hit on the girl. But if you’re not naturally witty, think of something to say first, then go up and make it seem organic.
So what you do is look around the bar and pay attention to what she’s doing. Look for some conversation fodder. And don’t say a peep to her until you have it.
One time I was out at a bar and had this exact scenario. There was a cute girl sitting by herself watching TV, drinking a beer. She looked friendly so I wanted to say hello. I couldn’t think of something off the cuff, so I ordered a drink, sat next to her and while the bartender was getting my drink, I was getting some fodder.
She was watching a Cubs-Cardinals game on TV and she appeared to be into the game, so I figured I could impress her by my baseball knowledge. I said, “Cubs aren’t playing so hot lately, are they?” and she responded by dissing the Cubs; “that’s because they suck!”
I don’t care for either team, so I laughed and said, “everyone knows the Cubs suck, so you must be a big baseball fan then”. That was what got our conversation flowing. I found something she was interested in and used my opener to show her I’m not clueless about the topic and that I have interest.
She then mentioned how she loves baseball and that she’s into guys that like baseball. BINGO! It was easy to transition from here plus we had baseball to fall back on in case I ran out of things to say.
Haven’t found the type of opener you think you can pull off yet? Then I’ve got a couple of openers that, despite being controversial, have worked for some men. But you’ll have to really be on your game or you’ll fall flat on your face.
Sexual opener – You aren’t going to be upfront with your intentions by saying, “wanna come back to my house and get it on?”, but you will make it clear, in a subtle way, that you’re not just looking for someone to have a few drinks with.
Here’s a few:
“You’re hot…you should talk to me.”
“You are sexy…what’s your name?”
It’s a high-risk opener that can only be pulled off if you make good eye contact and approach her with confidence. If not, you’ll look like a fool.
She’ll know instantly you want sex, so the women that are 100% against this type of relationship will run. So be it.
Opinion opener – Again, this is a type of opener that requires some confidence and is risky.This is where you ask a girl for an opinion on some random topic. Perhaps you Converse shoes are more attractive than Nike so you use that as a question in your opener.
Here’s a few:
“What is your opinion on drunk I love you texts?”
“Do you believe in psychics?”
This is a simple way to open a conversation. But it can be risky because there’s a potential to spark too much of a controversy. Let’s say you completely disagree with the girl on her answer to your question. It could lead to an argument that ends your chances with her, so be careful.
Procrastination is the death of men
You’re planning on going out with your friends and meeting women. So you get the bar, grab a beer and then go sit down with your boys. You get into a heated argument about politics and the conversation lasts for more than an hour.
Now you’re 5 beers in and getting a bit tipsy and you have to pee. Two hours have gone by and you still haven’t said a peep to any girl in the bar. This is what far too many guys do. They go out planning on talking to girls but they always have the, “I’ll get to it in a minute” approach.
Here’s a better suggestion. The moment you walk into the bar, start looking around for women to approach. Pick them out right off the bat. Don’t grab a drink or sit down with your buddies until you have chatted with at least 2 girls. Men that are successful at approaching women don’t procrastinate. They just go do it.