When I teach guys how to attract women, I always say I will never criticize them for touching women too much. I don’t mean randomly walking into a bar and grabbing a bunch of chick’s asses. I’m talking about when you’re in a conversation, attempting to physically escalate.
You’ll never get anywhere with women if you don’t make physical contact early and often. Touch is the first step to sex. Can you make too much physical contact with women? Eh, sort of. But when you’re trying to escalate, it all starts with touch.
What happens if she doesn’t want to be touched?
Then she doesn’t want to be touched! That’s all there is to it. A woman’s reaction to your touch will tell you everything you need to know. If she isn’t digging you, she’s going to do everything she can to prevent you from touching her.
Women react negatively to guy’s they don’t like in a number of ways when the guy starts making physical contact. Some will straight up tell you to, “get the hell away from me”. Others will be more subtle about it and lightly brush you off.
But the point is you don’t have to worry about touching too much because a woman will let you know right away if your touch is wanted. If it’s not wanted, so be it. Don’t let it ruin your day.
Why she rejects your touch – it’s you not her
The number one reason women reject a man’s touch isn’t because he’s a creep or ugly or smells like balls. It’s because the guy doesn’t properly touch her. Guys often make things awkward by nonchalantly putting their arms around a woman, almost in a way you would to a friend.
This sends the wrong signals to her and it makes her feel uncomfortable. When you touch a girl, it needs to be natural and show her you are confident. Anything else will turn her off.
Make her WANT you to touch her. Once you get good at this, you will have sets where the woman initiates the physical touch. If you aren’t smooth, you’ll have more sets where the woman rejects your touch.
Act like it’s natural
Guys that appear natural at touching women get away with a lot. What I mean by that is they can walk up to girls and make physical contact like it’s nothing, without getting rejected. It’s a thing of beauty, if you ask me, and something I’ve become quite successful at.
You’ll be surprised at how many girls won’t shy away from your physical touch and verbal sexual advances if you simply show some confidence. Women assume a confident man is successful with women. So if you confidently touch a woman (appropriately, of course), she’ll assume you’re desirable to other women.
You must be desirable, right? Otherwise, why would you be so confident? Women are instantly attracted to confident men because of this exact reason. They want to be with guys that are desirable to other women. It boosts their ego the same as hooking up with a hot chick does for men.
The more you practice touching the more natural you will become.
It’s as much verbal as it is physical
Improving your touch rejection rate is guaranteed if you do this one thing; have a 50/50 talk/touch ratio. If you simply touch her without having much of a conversation with her, she’ll be turned off by it.
But if you are engaged in a nice conversation while making physical contact, she’ll barely even realize you’re touching her. Her mind will be on the topic of the conversation. By the time she realizes you’re both basically on top of each other, she’ll be enjoying your touch.
Verbal communication is the key here. It gives you an opportunity to show off your personality. If she likes what she hears, she’ll like what she feels when you start touching her – every time.
The first time you touch her, look away briefly. But do it naturally. Don’t stare at the spot you are touching. It will make you come off as a creep. Engage in conversation with her and, when she’s clearly showing she likes what she hears (smiling, laughing, being chatty, etc.), put your arms around her.
All touch should be soft. Don’t grab or grope. Soft, smooth touches. That’s how it’s done. And always look her in the eyes when you touch her. This shows even more confidence.
Perfecting the art of touching
Like I’ve said many times, confidence gets you far with women and not being afraid to touch women shows confidence. So I want you to look at touching as an art form, and then perfect it. Here’s how you do it.
The next time you walk into a crowded bar, don’t wait for people to get out of your way as you make your way to your table, the bar, the bathroom or wherever you’re headed. Instead, “touch” your way through the crowd. Do this every time you go out.
Touch guys and girls on the shoulder lightly. Just say, “hey, how are you?”, give a light shoulder touch in a friendly way, and then walk on by. It’s simple and you have no reason to fear this type of interaction. Maybe 1 out of 1,000 people will yell at you or give you a dirty look.
The purpose of this exercise is to get used to touching people so that you’ll always be comfortable doing it with women. Practice makes perfect, boys!
More do’s, don’ts and tips on touching women
In the club…
A crowded dance floor is a great opportunity to get away with some light touching, maybe even some intense grinding. If you meet a girl in a club, don’t waste much time chatting up at the bar or at a table. Forget that. Move to the dance floor ASAP.
Women love to dance, even if they aren’t good at it. So be a man and tell her you want to dance. Grab her at the waste and walk her to the dance floor. Once you’re on the dance floor, don’t worry about other people if you aren’t a great dancer. Seriously, no one is watching you.
Just listen to the music and try to keep a good beat going. She won’t diss you if you aren’t a good dancer. She will diss you if you don’t have the balls to give it a try. Dancing face-to-face is best. That way you can easily kiss her. But whichever way you are dancing, make sure to get in plenty of caressing all over her body.
Playfully touching her…
Getting playful with a girl is great especially for those that aren’t quite confident enough to pull off a smooth touch like a true pickup artist. Just play it casually. Show her some goofy top-secret handshake. Don’t know any? Search the Internet for ones to use in sets.
Another playful way to flirt is to act like you’re reading her palm. Grab her hand and run your fingers across her hand, lightly tickling her. Stare directly at her hand and act like you’re deep in thought.
When she asks if you are reading her palm, tell her you’re not but, instead, act confused and tell her, “’I’m just incredibly jealous of how sexy your palm is”. Make sure you smile afterwards. This isn’t some sort of super-duper creative joke, but it’s some light playful humor women dig.
Don’t keep your hands in one place continuously…
A mistake many guys make is to put their arms around a girl and keep their hands in place continuously throughout the conversation. This is a bad idea. Things will become awkward. Keep your hands moving.
Explore her body, but be careful not to scare her away. Don’t start groping her breasts or squeezing her ass. Have some sense of decency. Even if she’s considering you for a sexual partner, she isn’t going to appreciate you fondling the heck out of her in a public establishment immediately after meeting.
One final word on touching
Touching is the key to escalating things from bar to bedroom. It should be done maturely. What I mean by that is, as I mentioned a bit ago, don’t take things too far. Use your head, but be confident.
Women love being touched, but that opinion will change if you don’t follow the pointers in this article. Next thing I’m going to discuss is how to “qualify” a woman. Stick around for that article as it is crucial to your success with women. You won’t know if she’s ready until you qualify her. See you soon!