First dates are important events in the hookup process. But don’t make them out to be more than what they really are – a chance to “hangout” with her. That’s exactly what it is, and nothing more. Many guys look at it as a “date” but I prefer the term, “hangout”.
The reason for that is because a date entails more than what your hangout should. Think about what ensues on a typical date. You go out for a nice dinner, to a movie, bowling, or some other casual activity. Afterwards, maybe you go out for a couple of drinks and then kiss goodnight.
If you prefer to go the more common route and make it a date, fine. But regardless of where you decide to take her, remember this…
You’re in control
I don’t care if you make it a date or a hangout, you decide what goes on. Never allow her to make decisions for you. Step up and be a man. If you want to pay for everything, fine. If not, that’s fine too. You decide. Always.
All about the date/hangout
When you start going out on dates and hangouts, there are no guarantees. Always be positive and expect to get laid. But don’t get too upset when things don’t go your way. It’s bound to happen sometimes. Big deal.
Every date is different, but I like to classify them into these 3 categories:
- “Main Events” – A date activity that is too much fun to turn down even if she isn’t really into you.
- “Casual Hangouts” – Casually hanging out to find out if she really is into you. Expect some flakes.
- “Non-Date Dates” – Just hanging out somewhere boring, but the evening turns exciting.
Main Event dates are when you take a girl somewhere exciting. You don’t just go out to dinner or to a movie. You take her to places such as what you see on this list:
- State Fair
- Rock Concert
- Major League Baseball Game
- Fine Dining Restaurant
Casual hangouts and non-date dates take place at casual locations such as a park, at the mall, etc. These are barely even dates. They really are just an opportunity to hangout with her outside of wherever it was you met her.
What is the best type of date?
The best type of date is any date that leads to more. Whether that be sex or a second date, or both. A bad date is any date where that is the last interaction with her and no sex is involved. That’s your answer.
For some guys, a Main Event date works well, but you really don’t need to splurge to get a woman in bed. Some guys think, “if I take her out for an expensive meal, she’ll blow me”. That’s not necessarily true.
Here’s the thing. Women love taking advantage of men. Most won’t refuse an offer to accompany you to a popular concert or a free fancy dinner, even if they think the guy is butt ugly. But what the guys don’t realize is that is ALL they want – something awesome for free.
At the end of the night, even though she knows you’re going to want to hookup, she might not feel obliged to put out. She might just want something for free and nothing more. So if you think impressing her with a fancy dinner is going to get you laid, you best be prepared for a, “I’m sorry I’m not into you like that, but thanks for dinner” at the end of the night many times.
With that said, I’m not saying you should NEVER take a woman out for a fancy dinner or an expensive exciting activity. Sometimes it works in your favor. But, despite what you might think, your chances of getting laid aren’t less if you meet up for a casual hangout instead.
Potential date suggestions
The first date suggestion is something very casual – meeting up at the mall. Call her up, tell her you want to look at a few items at the mall (new shoes, a new bed, clothes, etc.) and would love for her to accompany you.
There isn’t much to this but it is very effective. This is very casual so you shouldn’t even be nervous. Your only job is to be flirtatious, make her laugh and start building more rapport with her.
To keep this type of a date entertaining, create a fun game. One idea is to play the “gift exchange” game. Tell her that you think it would be fun if you both bought each other a cheap gift. Tell her you have 5 minutes to find something. Then go buy her a cheap gift and exchange them.
The next date suggestion is to meet up at a grocery store. This sounds like a very lame ass date, doesn’t it? Hanging out at a grocery store IS incredibly lame. That’s why you’re going to turn a grocery date into something far more exciting and fun.
You’d be surprised how easy it is to bounce her from the grocery store back to your house. It all starts with a quick phone call to a woman you’ve been chatting with for a bit. Ask her to accompany you to the grocery store because you “have a few things you need to pick up”.
Hopefully she will say yes. If she says she doesn’t need any groceries, just tell her, “no worries, I’m just picking up a few things and could use some company”. Assuming she takes you up on the offer…
Plan out a delicious meal you are going to cook for her. Go get the items you need at the store, with her. If you are a lousy cook, test out the recipe beforehand. You absolutely must cook her something tasty. You don’t have to be Bobby Flay in the kitchen. But Ramen Noodles isn’t going to cut it here either.
While you’re walking down the aisles with her, make sure you are chatty and flirtatious. After 10-15 minutes, suggest, “hey, we should grab a movie while we’re here”. Now you have a dinner and movie date set up simply by inviting a woman to accompany you at the grocery store.
Be careful with your movie selection. Nothing X-rated and no stupid, raunchy comedies. Save those movies for when you’re hanging out with your buddies. Horror movies are okay as long as they aren’t too gory.
Once you get back to your place, turn on some music and unpack the groceries. Keep the conversation flowing. Crack some clean jokes with her while you cook. Start building up some sexual tension.
After dinner, put on the movie and wrap your arms around her while the movie is on. You shouldn’t even be paying much attention to the movie. Spend the time giving her a nice back massage, kissing her neck and holding her. After the movie, direct her straight to your bedroom for some “fun”.
I saved the best first date suggestion for last…
The above suggestions do work but they’re kind of lame. A better idea is to set up a date to go out for a night out on the town, except you’re not actually going anywhere. Let me explain…
Call your girl up and tell her you want to take her out for an evening of fun out on the town. Let her know to meet you at the address of your place and “we’ll go from there”. You do this just so you can get her to your place right away. And you’re going to keep her there.
As soon as she arrives, invite her inside. Just say, “I’m not quite ready to go yet, come on in for a bit and then we’ll take off”. Hopefully your place is nice and clean. If not, clean up your act before she comes over. If it looks like a pit, she’ll be turned off.
Here’s what you’re going to do to keep her at your pad without even realizing you were supposed to go out. Get some alcohol and glasses ready. When she comes inside, offer her a drink. Then turn on your favorite Netflix show/movie or a hilarious video on YouTube.
Say, “check this out, it’s pretty awesome”. Then start watching the video together. The longer the video, the better. So have it all planned out beforehand. The idea is to get her attention for a while so that she almost forgets you’re supposed to go out.
At the conclusion of the video, begin to escalate. Initiate physical contact and work towards getting her into your bedroom. If she shoots you down and asks if you’re going out, say, “I’m really enjoying your company, we should just hang here for a bit and then go out”.
If that doesn’t work, take her somewhere cheap nearby and continue working on escalating. Your chances of hooking up aren’t shot if she insists on going out. It will just take more time.
Don’t let her know you’re upset she wants to go out. Act like it doesn’t bug you. Willingly take her out somewhere (a nearby bar, restaurant, etc.). Don’t give up on getting laid. Show her some fun and start escalating things physically. If she refuses to come back to your place afterwards, forget her.
In the next lesson, I’m going to teach you something extremely important about closing the deal. Do NOT miss it!