Many of my friends date girls who just plain aren’t right for them. After breaking up, they wonder why it didn’t work out. I am not the be-all end-all to relationship advice, but I’ve been through quite a few myself, and have learned some valuable lessons. If you are just looking to get laid this article isn’t for you. Believe it or not choosing a girl isn’t ONLY about how hot she it.
There are too many ladies on the outside who are DROP DEAD GORGEOUS on the outside and DROP DEAD GARBAGE on the inside. I know looks can be misleading especially when a girl is gorgeous. Sometimes you see her and throw all your standards out the window while noticing drool running down your lip. STOP. And take this advice I’m about to give you that can save you years of stress and heartache.
What most guys do
Imagine you are fresh out of Harvard Business School and hitting the job market for the first time. You have references, stellar grades, and three award-winning internships. You have several interviews lined up. One company looks pretty promising and you’ve managed to set up an interview.
The interview day arrives and you eagerly walk in fully prepared to impress the socks off whoever interviews you. As it happens, your interviewer turns out to be the regional Vice President, obviously in attendance because of the outstanding recruit in his midst.
He begins…“Welcome to Gears Inc., did you graduate high school?” You pause for a moment then curiously nod, “Um…yes I did.” “…And you have no criminal convictions? At least not in the last 2 years?” You respond, slightly off-balance…“Yes…that’s true.”
“Perfect! When can you start?” And with that he happily takes a big corporate stamp out of his drawer and puts an official looking red “ACCEPTED” right in the middle of your application.
No mention of Harvard.
No questions about your experience.
He just hires you because you managed to pass high school and haven’t served a prison term.
Would you take the job? Or maybe more importantly, would you want the job?
Most guys choose a girl based on two things
- She is pretty
- She is willing to sleep with them
Just like you probably wouldn’t want to take a job where you were accepted on such low criteria, you also don’t want to choose a girl just based on looks.
What you should do
Take out a pen or open a word document and prepare to start writing. If you’re looking to attract a perfect girl for you, the first step is to know what you want. The best way is by asking yourself, what are the most to least important qualities in a partner. Then write it out. I’m going to share my most important qualities in a girl to help you get started.
- Loyalty – Nothing is more important to me than a girl who is loyal. To me loyalty is the act of putting someone or something ahead of one’s self. It’s a two-way street and I am loyal to my partner as well. Loyalty is also sacrifice. If I have tickets to the football game and my girl has a big dance performance coming up guess what? I won’t be pounding back beers watching adult men slap each others asses “good game!” When you are loyal to someone, they appreciate you more.
- Nurturing – I love a girl who has motherly traits. When I come home from a long day of work I like to be taken care of and treated like a baby now and then. I can’t stand a girl who says “Hey babe, how was work?” While sitting on the couch watching TV. A real lady should open the front door and greets me with a big hug and kiss. A nurturing woman is a sexy woman.
- Easy Going – I work hard and get all my seriousness out during business hours. But when I get off work, I’m a pretty laid back guy. I don’t care where we eat, or what we do I just want to hang out. It’s easier for me to get along with a girl who also goes with the flow. I don’t want to be told that we have a reservation at X time, then we have to get home for Y, then we can’t sleep until after Z. Sometimes I just want to make some love and get some zzz’s.
- Independent – Ladies, don’t get into a relationship to be a babysitter. I like a girl who has something in her life she enjoys or working towards a goal. If a girl can’t function without me, I’ll suffocate, and run in the opposite direction. When both parties are independent, it prevents the relationship from going dull.
- Likeable – It’s not that I care about other people’s opinion because I really don’t, but if my parents, siblings, and all my friends can’t stand my girlfriend, chances are there’s something wrong with her. It’s nice to have a girl who fits in. You can take her out with your friends and still have fun, or bring her to family dinner and have a good time.
- Sexuality – Ludacris says it best “I want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed.” My girl MUST love sex, foreplay, penis, all things sex related. I can’t be with a girl who doesn’t have a high sex drive.
- Supportive – “Behind every great man is a great woman.” Guys who succeed are either single or have a woman who’s fully behind them in their endeavors. It’s hard to reach your goals when someone is holding you back. A supportive girl is motivation for me to keep chasing my dreams.
- Respectful – Men like to be leaders and we want a partner who respects the decisions we make. I don’t like a girlfriend who tries to argue with every decision I make, but I also don’t like a pushover. A girl should put her foot down when it’s necessary. Oh and if you respect your boyfriend, never fart in front of him…ever.
- Cooks – I grew up eating fast food for dinner every night because my step mom refused to cook a meal. I like home cooked meals, and I would prefer my girl made them, but more importantly it’s for family. Assuming I get married to this perfect girl, who’s going to cook for my children? I’m not going to let them choose between a big mac, burrito supreme, and a whopper every night.
If you want to get the girl of your dreams, you have to know what she looks like. Not every guy agrees that Mila Kunis is their dream girl. Some guys like big boned women, some guys like them to be muscular.
Everyone should have a list of the most important qualities in a partner. Take the time to figure out what you truly want, and hold those values close to your chest. You’ll find it much easier to attract what you like and weed out what you don’t like.