I can’t tell you how many times a woman has told me something and I curiously scratched my head while asking myself “what does she mean by that?”

Sometimes women can be a little extremely confusing. The most common mistake men make is reading women in black and white like a newspaper. In order to understand what a woman truly means, we have to read between the lines.

Understanding a woman will help improve your communication and better communication = better chance of getting laid.

What she says, is not always what she means.

Here are 15 things a woman says that mean something else:

What a woman says: Oh, you got me a card for my birthday? Aw, it’s the thought that counts.

What a woman means: “You are so cheap I’ll be disappointed in myself if I don’t break up with you. It makes me sick to my stomach that you went out and bought a new watch, clothes, and got a massage from some skanky Thai massage place just last week. You couldn’t even get me a box of chocolates or flowers from the farmers market for $6.99?”

What a woman says: Do you want to go to _________ this weekend?

What a woman means: “We’re going to __________ this weekend whether you like it or not. I’m really just being nice giving you a feeling of masculinity by making you think you actually have a say in this. But you don’t. By the way, I can’t help you pack I’ll be too busy getting prepared myself and you are driving.”

“P.S. While you’re packing you can go ahead and pack your balls in my purse.”

What a woman says: Am I fat?

What a woman means: “I’m not asking if you think I’m fat. What I really want to know is if you find me attractive or not. A simple “no” will not suffice. It will just confirm that you don’t think I’m pretty. I want to hear – without hesitation – that you find me so hot you’re still shocked you were able to get me.”

What a woman says: Are you going to wear that?

What a woman means: “Don’t wear that. In fact take it off, burn it, and forget you ever put it on in the first place. I don’t approve of that attire, and if I don’t say you look sharp, you probably look more dull than a wet noodle.”

What a woman says: What did you say?

What a woman means: “I heard you I just didn’t like it. I’m giving you an opportunity to change your tone or rephrase that sentence entirely. If you cant come up with something your best bet is to respond with “I have no idea honey. I love you!”

What a woman says: Where is this going?

What a woman means: “I want to make sure we’re on the same boat. I’m looking for a commitment from you and I want to hear you say it. If you can’t commit, let me know right now so I don’t waste any more time with you, and so I can definitely stop sleeping with you too.”

What a woman says: I don’t want to talk about it

What a woman means: “I do want to talk about it but I’m frustrated. Please tell me what I want to hear or at least compromise so we can get through this. The last thing I want is for this to be hanging over my head all night.”

What a woman says: We need to talk

What a woman means: “I want you to stop what you’re doing, listen closely, and absorb everything I’m going to say because I will question you later. Clearly I am upset about something so you better have fantastic answers to the following questions.”

What a woman says: Do what you want

What a woman means: “If you really do, you will pay for it. Instead, please do what will make us both (me) happy in this situation. If you still end up doing what you want, at least talk it over with me first and make me feel like my opinion wasn’t voiced for nothing.”

What a woman says: Forget it

What a woman means: “Don’t forget what just happened or I promise it will come back to haunt you. Fix this situation now or make it up to me shortly, like now.

What a woman says: I don’t mind if you’re friends with your ex (one of my favorites because it’s such BS)

What a woman means: “I don’t trust her in that situation. Ok fine, I don’t trust you either. If she lays a finger on you I will rip her heart out with my bare hands and make her eat it. Proceed with caution if you dare – your best bet is to politely tell her off and delete her number from your phone…forever.”

What a woman says: What are you doing tonight?

What a woman means: “What are you doing with me tonight? This is me asking you to hang out so hopefully you get that. I don’t care to hear that you’re cleaning your room or watching a documentary on how Egyptian pyramids are built. Cancel your plans, and hang out with the babes.”

What a woman says: I’m just not in the mood (for sex)

What a woman means: “Something else is bugging me, and I want you to ask me to talk about it. Or, I just want to cuddle.”

What a woman says: I don’t need you

What a woman means: “I’m feeling vulnerable and I’m trying to convince myself that I will be ok without you. I feel like you’re slipping away. Please comfort me.

What a woman says: I love you

What a woman means: Gentlemen, she actually means this one. This comes straight from the heart. There are no games. She’s opened up her heart to you. She could also be fishing for jewelry. Check your calendar and see if your anniversary or Valentine’s Day are right around the corner.

Conclusion

And to make life easier for you guys out there, I decided to create a little decoder card for you. So every time a woman tells you one of the following things below, you’ll know what she really means. 😉

what women really mean cheat sheet

Wow! That was a blast.

I can’t tell you how much fun getting to talk like a woman was for me. I role-play a pretty bitchy girl, but hey this stuff isn’t made up. I’ve heard all these things too many times.

If you are a girl reading this, I’m sure you can relate.

Men, I’ll give you a few pointers to help you understand women better.

Women ask and say all these things because they:

  1. Want to be loved and appreciated
  2. Want you to care enough to know what they want without them having to tell you.
  3. Offer subtle criticism that you gotta figure out on your own.

I hope this guide can help men around the world know what a woman really means by what she says.

If I missed anything, feel free to give your input.