Hey guys I just discovered this new trick that can get any woman into bed with you in less than 5 minutes…
Go up to a girl and say “Hey girl you are smoking hot sauce, why don’t you come home with me and I’ll pour some Tapatio on that!”
Boom. Done deal.
Are you going to start saying that now because I told you to? I hope not. I made that up in 5 seconds, and I’ve never tested it. And that my friends, is what most guys on the internet who teach dating are doing. They don’t know jack.
The majority of “Online Dating Instructors” are actually “Online Masturbating Conductors” as I like to call them. They sit behind a computer typing away giving you all the advice they come up with in their head that they’ve never even tested.
I’m going to make a promise to everyone who reads my blog right now. I will never give advice, nor tell you to do something without having tried it myself. If anyone wants proof of me doing something I tell you to do, let me know and I’ll go out and film it, then post it on my blog for you.
I want to tell you a little bit about my path to success with women so you can understand the importance of soaking up good vs. bad information.
When I first got involved in the dating community I began reading a lot of dating experts’ blogs. I’m not going to list names because it’s not my style to throw people under the bus, but I will tell you this – do your research before believing everything you read.
There were 2 dating gurus in particular whose blogs I read religiously. The articles they were writing were nothing short of amazing. These guys were talking about making out with girls in seconds. Claiming they would take a girl home from the bar, hang out with her, and then go back out to bring a second girl home the same night.
Every possibility you could imagine, they were doing. Well at least their blogs said they were. But was that all true? Were these guys the great and powerful Oz of dating or just little boys hiding behind their computer screen.
I needed to know the truth. After all I had been reading their blogs for over 6 months. I started brainstorming ways to get to in front of these “gurus” and I eventually devised a plan.
My employer had a dating product where he would take “dating gurus” out to the club, film them, and sell the final copy as a DVD. This worked for both parties as the dating gurus got to promote themselves for free and my employer had a product to make money from. I was going to leverage his dating product, to get my favorite gurus to San Diego and get to see their talent in action.
The DVD product did well enough to get all kinds of e-talented dating gurus flying to San Diego to film themselves picking up women. (e-talented meaning they were amazingly skilled online, but nobody knew if they could do it in real life)
Put your money where your mouth is
The first guy who came down was a tall, dark haired, decent looking guy. Again, not giving out any names.
Before going out he was running his mouth bragging non stop. He even told me that he scored a 5 for 5. I didn’t know what that meant so I asked “What’s a 5 for 5?” He replied “It’s when you approach 1 girl per night for 5 nights in a row and you take every one of them home.”
I was a little shocked, not because I thought it was incredible, but because I thought it was crazy that he expected me to believe that bullshit. That would be like a professional baseball player batting 1000%. It just doesn’t happen. My suspicion led me offering him a bet.
I told him if he could just do a 1 for 1, meaning approach 1 girl and take her home, I would pay him $1,000. A guy who claims to have done it 5 times in a row surely would accept that bet, no? I stood there with my hand out until gravity weighed it down. Low and behold, he didn’t shake it.
His excuse being he was already a bit nervous doing everything on camera and he didn’t want to take on any additional pressure. I understood so I dropped it.
Soon after, we packed all our camera equipment and began marching towards the club. There were two girls standing side by side talking and he set his eyes on them.
Like a stud, without hesitation he walked right up to them and said “Excuse me ladies, which is lighter” as he put his palms out and facing the sky with a cigarette in one palm and a bic lighter in the other.
Girl on the left looks at him and points at the cigarette “that one is lighter.” He responds with “no this is the lighter (referring to the bic lighter). It was lamer than a knock knock joke! The girl responded with a condescending “ha ha not funny.” The conversation lasted about 60 more seconds before they back turned him.
Good thing he didn’t take my $1,000 bet.
Before shaking my head, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes you need a little warm-up before the magic starts to happen. The next group of girls was a group of 4 all hanging out suffering a severe case of boredom.
He approaches and says “Hello” like a normal person, and they respond well. About 5 minutes into the conversation he tells the girls a lie I will never forget.
“Hey ladies, my friend is having an after party at his condo downtown and a bunch of celebrities will be there like Leonardo Dicaprio, some of his friends, and more.”
It was a desperate attempt to coax girls back to the condo. What girl would turn down an offer to party with Leo?
A girl who is skeptical. The ladies politely declined. After that I thought to myself if this guy can’t even get girls to leave the club with that big of a lie, I wonder how bad he really is. Is it possible this guy is a virgin?
I’m sure you can imagine how the rest of the night played out. I was frustrated to say the least.
A few months later my frustrations had dwindled down and it was almost time for the next guru. My second favorite guru was considered one of the top players in the dating space. I loved reading his blog not just because he seemed so talented, but his style of writing was entertaining.
Sadly, the weekend he flew in town I was in Washington D.C. teaching a seminar. I really wanted to be there just to meet the guy and shake his hand. Since I was on the other side of the country, I had no choice but to wait till I got home to view the raw footage.
When I got home, I was told that he went out and filmed two nights in a row. Now normally the way it works is 1 night of filming, and the best parts were put into an episode. Him going out twice could only mean one of two things – either he did a phenomenal job and everyone wanted to see more of him or he bombed the first night and wanted a second chance to prove himself.
I crossed my fingers and hoped he did phenomenal.
I couldn’t deal with another person I envied not living up to the expectations I had of them.
Sunday night I arrived back in town and went straight to my employers’ house to watch the footage (I couldn’t wait till Monday). The TV turns on and I sit upright in my chair, eager and nervous.
He walks up to two girls “Hey ladies, I need a female opinion on something. My friend over there (points) just moved in with his girlfriend and he’s still friends with his old girlfriend from college. How do you feel about that?
This is called an opinion opener. It’s not bad because it gets their attention and it’s controversial so the conversation usually goes on for a while. I prefer not to use these because it is very indirect. It’s tough to transition from “Hey I need your opinion on something” to “Now I am going to hit on you.”
To help you understand the next part you will need to know what a routine is. A routine is scripted material used to a) have something to talk about and b) be interesting. This prevents ordinary guys from sounding boring.
He continues the opinion topic for another 10 minutes and then transitions into palm reading. He takes one girls hand and starts to predict her future. “You’re going to have 3 kids, a big house, etc.”
Then he starts telling the girl about the ring she has on her finger. Some routine describing how you can tell a lot about a person by the finger they wear their ring on.
So far he’s not doing bad. The girls are not getting the creepy vibe and they are sticking around. I lean back and start relaxing in my chair a bit.
Another 20 minutes go by and I notice something strange. He isn’t making any normal conversation with the girls. It’s not flowing like how conversations flow. Instead, he’s stacking one routine on top of the next.
After a while the conversation isn’t moving in any direction. It looks more like a classroom where he’s the teacher and the girls are the students. If the dynamic was “student attracted to teacher” I would have thought he was brilliant. But instead it was more like student sitting through a lecture and slowly getting bored.
After running out of things to say he eventually excused himself. Discouraged, I looked at my watch and saw that I had wasted an hour of my life. Then I wondered how much more I could handle. So I set a timer and gave it 1 more hour.
The next hour was a repeat of the first hour. My hands are squeezing tightly in a fist as I write this. I still can’t believe these gurus turned out to be make-believe. For me it was the equivalent of a kid finding out there’s no Santa Claus. Devastating 🙁
These dating gurus talk about all the hot girls they’ve slept with but never post any pictures online. Is that because they want their personal lives private or because their stories are made up.
I may not date supermodels, but I think I’ve done pretty well for myself being a short, mixed ethnicity, brown guy. (in other words I’m no Brad Pitt by any means)
Here’s a picture of my last 3 ex girlfriends. You can hate it or love it but I’m not afraid to make it public.
I wish I could tell you the other dating gurus who flew in for the same product knocked my socks off, but I’d be lying. My big dreams, my idols, my superheroes in the dating world turned out to be total frauds. It was a shitty feeling that sunk in my stomach for days.
I invested so much time reading their blogs and I believed in these guys. They gave me a reason to persevere during my struggle. It was a sad day learning the guys I looked up to weren’t the experts I had imagined them to be.
But I learned something else far more valuable by believing in people who weren’t even good at what they taught.
I realized that it doesn’t matter what inspires you to become great at what you do. It could be something real and tangible, or it can be something fake as the dating gurus I envied. What does matter is to not let the negative affect you, to concentrate on the positive, and to never, ever give up.
Ever since the day I made that discovery I also made a promise to myself. I promised I would never teach guys something I haven’t gone out and tested on my own. I will never be a keyboard jockey who hides behind the screen telling guys what works and what doesn’t. As a reader of my blog, you have my word I will be honest, and only provide you with advice that consistently gets results.
So be wary of what you read online. Hey feel free to be wary of my blog after reading this article if you want. The point is to do some research on the person you take advice from and make sure their advice seems legitimate and resonates with you.
And again, never give up.