Having a friend that is a girl, that you like a lot, can be difficult. Not only do you want to be more than friends with her, but you want her to feel the same way about you. This, my friend, is known as ‘the friend zone’ and many guys, just like you are stuck in it year after year. So many men are in the same situation as you, and so many are asking themselves the same question of how they are going to get themselves out of it. They want to date this girl, they have been friends with her for too long to not know that she is the perfect girl for them but the girl just does not see it this way.
I bet you didn’t know…
There is more than one friend zone. There are different levels of friend zones that you can be sent to. As scary as it sounds, this is true.
Phase 1 – The “let’s just be friends” stage where you will encounter a woman, but the woman is not able to hurt your feelings, for whatever reason and just says that you should be friends. She does not want to come out to your face and tell you that she is just not romantically or sexually interested in you.
Phase 2 – The guy that says it is okay for them to be just friends, and starts to spend more time with her with romantic motives on their minds. While this seems like a good way to sabotage any future relationships she might have, it is also a way to hurt yourself and this girl you care about. You cannot hide your feelings forever and keep following her around.
Phase 3 – The mistaken intentions from the guy to the woman. The guy cannot come out and say it clearly enough that he wants to be with the girl, and this leads her to mistaking what he is trying to say. This becomes a big problem for the guy who is now stuck in that friend zone, even though he tried to show or tell her how he felt and it was taken the wrong way.
Phase 4 – The situation where the guy and girl were genuinely friends and then all of a sudden, he realizes that he really likes her and wants to be more than friends. While this might work out for some, as long as the guy tells her, it might not end so well either. It all depends on how the girl feels about the guy and the particular situation.
Whatever phase you’re in, you can correct the situation by taking these tips into mind and making the most of them when trying to get out of the friend zone and into the lover zone with her. Not every guy should be left behind when it comes to being more than friends with the girl of their dreams. Being a friend is not always better than letting her go.
Tips to get out of the friend zone
Getting out of the friend zone should not be too difficult to do with the right moves, the right words and a little courage… okay, a lot of courage on your behalf. It can be done, however and it means you’re able to let her know how you feel, but also be more comfortable with yourself because you’ve been holding this secret and these feelings in for too long.
The friend zone is not somewhere you want to be, so make sure to take the necessary steps to save yourself and get out of there, unless, you truly are her friend.
Be Clear and Honest with Her
You need to let her know how you feel about her. If you’re not honest this can cause further problems in the future as she continues to think of you as a friend. She will become more comfortable in the friend zone as you settle in and do not let her know your honest opinion. With her knowing the truth, you will not have to worry about staying in the friend zone. This is the number one tip that you should go with, because it is the one that is not going to steer you wrong when it comes to being more than friends.
Do a Lot of Touching
Touching is a great way to show your feelings to someone without actually saying it out loud. Of course, do not overdo your touching since you also do not want to make her feel uncomfortable. When you are smooth with the way you conduct yourself and the way you touch her, she might feel the electricity between the two of you, and get the hint that perhaps you do have a crush on her. So while you’re joking, touch her arm. Be animated, alive and let your feelings show through the expressions, touch and way you project yourself to her. If she is good at picking up on body language, then she should understand that you’re into her just a bit more than friends-wise.
Know the Difference of Becoming Her Friend Compared to Her Lover
There is a major difference between being her friend, and being her lover. You’re there to console her when needed, and you’re the one she asks to go shopping with. You’re her guy-friend when she wants someone to watch a movie with, and someone that is not going to hit on her or even judge her. She doesn’t dress up and make herself look great, even if you might think so, when you come over. This is body language that she is putting out, showing you that you’re no more than friends and perhaps that is all you’re ever going to be when you hang out.
However, being a lover, you’re invited out to dates and to watch movies and she puts effort into getting ready. She will also not speak about past relationships or one she just got out of if she is interested in you. When you’re a lover, you’re allowed to cuddle with her on the couch, and even console her in more than just bringing ice cream and two spoons over to her home. You have to know how to pick up on her body language to find out if she is into you, as much as you are into her.
Don’t be Too Sexual
When you’re with her, and you’re her friend; she expects much more from you then being the cliche nasty guy that is drooling all over her. If that is who you are, then she is never going to think of you as more than a friend. This is going to be a serious problem, and she is going to always view you as that sexual friend that is all over her, and not as the boyfriend of her dreams (which is what you want to be). You need to keep your paws and nasty comments to yourself if you want out of the friend zone. This might seem hard to do, especially if she wants you to treat her like one of your guy friends, but it is something that will make her think of you a bit differently than the guys you hang out with. Jokes are okay, just don’t go overboard.
Be Willing to Walk Away
When you’re in the friend zone, you might not want to be there forever. This is okay if you have always been her friend, and didn’t know you would eventually start liking her. You want to know when enough is enough, and when to walk away if she does not want to be anything more than friends. This means not becoming too connected to her, and what you like about her. This cannot only ruin future relationships that you have, but it can cause you to lose sight of yourself and what you want out of life. By being able to walk away, you know you’re not losing a lot. You tried, and that is what matters when you’re in the friend zone.
When you take the time to consider all that goes into being her friend, and then letting her know you want to be more than friends is something that can take a huge weight off your shoulders. This weight is something that you do not want to have sitting over your head, and you do not want to continue being her friend if your heart is not into being just friends. This can make you feel better, but also keep you out of the friend zone, at least for too long. Remember, it is always best to be honest when you’re in the friend zone. From here, you cannot go wrong and she will know where you sit when it comes to being in her life, even if it is not the way you or her want.