If I wanted to I could probably make a list of over 100 dating tips, but I’ll keep it short and only share the most important ones.
I see a lot of guys repeat the same mistakes and they are so simple to fix, but apparently guys just don’t know how. I’ve made plenty of mistakes myself and even looking back on my dates when I sucked with girls, I have some pretty humiliating stories.
You’ll find most of these tips are “common sense” but sometimes being reminded of the simple things can really help.
- Create memories not just conversations – When you go on a date, it’s usually in 1 location and you are sitting across from each other making conversation almost the entire time. Hopefully you read my post about how you should sit next to each other and have gotten rid of the habit of sitting across from each other. So if you think about it, you aren’t really creating any memories. It’s more of a getting to know each other process. There’s nothing wrong with that, but if you were to make memories as well, it would be a lot more interesting. There are different ways you can create memories and the easiest one is changing up the venues. After you eat, go do something else together. On a recent date I took a girl to the park after dinner and we went on the swings. It was fun and definitely memorable considering I got to feel like I was 7 years old again.
- Don’t be boring – If you’re having a hard time keeping the other persons attention, it can only be one of two reasons. Either she has A.D.D. or you aren’t as cool as you thought. You never want to talk about boring things for too long and you also should learn how to spice up conversations that normally wouldn’t be exciting. There’s a scene in the movie half-baked where Dave Chappelle says “I myself am a master of the custodial arts…or a janitor if you want to be a dick about it.” I love this phrase because he makes his shitty job into a funny joke. Let’s say you are a backend programmer for Google. Do you really need to get people lost in the details of what you do? No. It’s best to frame it in a funny way or just keep it simple like “Hey do you know Google? Ya I make that work.”
- Play it cool – You don’t have be Mr. Suave with the slick back hair and one word responses that just always seem to get your point across (did I just describe myself? Ha ha jk). By playing it cool, I’m saying stay calm, collect, and keep your composure. Don’t be thinking about what to say next or if she’s interested in you. Instead think things like ‘What do I want to know about this girl’ or ‘I wonder what we should do after this.’ Also don’t sound overenthusiastic about everything. A lot of guys think girls are into guys who are super positive and optimistic. While that is true, you still don’t want to overdo it. I sometimes hear guys act all excited about every single response they give. A girl will be like “So how many siblings do you have?” And the guy will say “FOUR!!! (with a big smile on his face) I have two younger brothers and an older sister! How about you???” It’s that you love your siblings and all, but telling someone how many siblings you have isn’t something worth getting overly excited about. So if something is worth getting excited about, get excited. But if it’s just normal conversation, play it cool.
- Assume the best not the worst – It’s so easy to get into your own head sometimes and it can totally mess with your chi. If a situation occurs, try thinking the best case scenario. I’ll give you an example. One time I was on a date, and the girl received a phone call and excused herself from the table. She came back and told me her friend’s car broke down and didn’t have anyone else to pick her up. I didn’t want to be a jerk so I said “Sure, go take care of it.” The date was only 15 minutes in and it was our first date so my initial thought was ‘She’s not into me and I just got blown off hard’. I didn’t get a text or call from her the rest of the night. The next day she called me apologizing for having to bail on dinner. Apparently the story was real because we rescheduled and ended up hanging out again. Never assume a girl isn’t into you. There are so many variables that play into attraction and you shouldn’t let anything get in your head.
- Groom Yourself – Girls truly appreciate a guy who dresses up and looks good when he goes out. Comb your hair, get the wrinkles out of your clothes, and brush your teeth please! Here’s how I look at it. If a girl showed up on a date with me and didn’t look done up, first and foremost I would be a little turned off. Second, I would think she wasn’t very into me considering she wasn’t willing to take the time to look nice.
- Exercise – Did you know working out releases endorphins that make you happy? With that knowledge, why not work out before you go on a date. The days I work out I feel more focused, energized, and always in a great mood. Another tip is working out legs. Leg exercises will boost your testosterone which can make you more dominant and sometimes horny. It’s good to feel to feel like an alpha male when you’re on a date.
- Don’t ignore red flags – It’s important to give your date a fair chance, but you should also pay attention to signs of incompatibility, bad morals, or dangerous behaviors. Don’t force yourself to go through with a bad situation. Before you know it, you could end up in a relationship doomed from the start.
Going on dates can be stressful when you aren’t sure how to act or what to do.
Now that you know these simple tips make sure to keep them in the back of your mind when dating.
If you’ve been on a date and it didn’t go well, share your experience and I’ll try to help analyze what happened.