Let’s say you’ve been working the same lame job as an insurance underwriter for the past 10 years, for a company that doesn’t appreciate your hard work and rarely gives you even the slightest raise. The new boss is a jerk. Your new cubicle neighbor smells like B.O. And you’re fed up of doing the same thing over and over again.
You decide you’ve had enough and scour the Internet for new jobs and send in some resumes. You’re going to quit the current gig as soon as you find something. After a day of searching, the phone is already ringing. You’re not too surprised considering you’re experienced, educated and skilled.
The first call comes from an “Executive” of a “marketing firm” that is impressed by your resume. He wants to interview you the following day so, of course, you take him up on the offer.
With very little effort, you have an interview. Bravo!
You put on your best suit and tie and prepare yourself for the inevitable questions. When you show up, you notice that Mr. Executive is dressed in Nike sweatpants and a Miller Lite t-shirt. You’re a bit out of place here but you don’t care because you so desperately want a new job.
After 3 minutes of generic questions, he informs you of your duties. He then tells you this is a commission-based job where “top reps earn $100,000+”. But after he informs you of the products you’ll be selling – a bunch of useless consumer products – you know this is a scam.
By the end of the interview the job is offered to you and training starts the next day. Do you take the job?
Of course not. It’s a complete scam and you know it. Even though you hate your current gig, at least it’s a legit occupation. The smart move is to continue working at the current job while looking for the perfect opportunity.
A horny guy walks into a bar…
…and the bartender says, “dude, you need to qualify your women first”. You’re probably going to want a woman that is physically attractive if you’re going to hook up with her. But you have to understand something…
Attractive women have MANY options. Many, many options.
They can basically pick out the guys the want. Us men, on the other hand, don’t have that luxury. Women have all the power here. Does that mean you’re screwed when it comes to landing hot women? Nope. It means you have no chance if you don’t know what women are looking for.
Women qualify you the same as you qualify a prospective job. You had no intention of accepting the job example above because it’s a crappy job. It’s a crappier job than what you already have. Why lower your standards to something even more miserable than your current job?
Similarly, why would a woman lower her standards to a guy that doesn’t appear to have anything going on, when she knows she can get a man that does appear to have something going on?
Put yourself in the shoes of an attractive woman out at a bar full of men. Dozens of men are hitting on you. Which one are you going to give your phone number to? The attractive, funny, well-dressed, educated man that doesn’t ask her for sex 30 seconds after meeting or the boring pervert that blurts out, “can we do it right now?” immediately after meeting?
Not a very tough decision there. Here’s something about women you might not know. They actually are just as sexual as us men are. They want sex constantly. If they say otherwise, they’re lying. And they are extremely open to sexual activity fairly soon after meeting. Or, at least, most of them are.
You’d be surprised how many, “I won’t have sex on the first date” women actually will have sex on the first date. But here’s the thing. Women don’t want to feel like dirty little sluts. They want sex, yes. But they want to feel as if they are sleeping with a man that has his act together.
A woman can go out and screw some random dude and not feel like a slut if she thinks the guy is a genuinely good dude with “status”. She won’t sleep with guys that make her feel as if she’s lowering her standards to get with. That’s when she feels slutty and will reject you.
It’s the same as when you shot down the “Executive” on his job offer. Why would you take that job when you can do so much better? That job would make you feel horrible about yourself. Just like a woman would feel horrible about hooking up with some disgusting, low-life pervert.
Establish an IMMEDIATE connection with her
It’s essential that you build some rapport right off the bat. By doing this, you’re showing her you are after more than just sex, even if you really are just after sex. In the qualification process, finding common interests and personality traits is beneficial.
If you have things in common and can show her that you genuinely do enjoy getting to know more about her outside the bedroom, you’ll put yourself above the majority of men that are straight up perverts.
The guy that ends up getting down and dirty with her isn’t going to bet the pervert that talks about getting down and dirty with her. It’s going to be the guy that makes her believe he likes her for more than just sex.
Think back to the last time you spoke to a girl you liked that knew you liked her. Why do you think she thinks you like her (not the real reason you like her)? If the answer she would likely give is because you think she has a nice rack and want to screw her, that means you didn’t do a good enough job convincing her you’re after more than just sex. And probably the reason you didn’t get her.
Here are the most common ways men screw up qualifying girls:
1.Useless qualification strategy
She says, “I love watching basketball.”
You say, “I played basketball in high school. That’s awesome!”
She says, “This is my favorite bar.”
You say, “It’s my favorite bar too! We have something in common!”
These types of comments are what I call, “who gives a rip?” comments. The fact that you have these useless interests in common won’t help you get her into bed.
2. Making it feel like a job interview
Playing “20 Questions” with a girl is a HORRIBLE idea. Men that don’t know how to talk to women get into the habit of doing this:
“How are you?”
“What do you think of this weather?”
“Where’s your favorite place to eat?”
“What are your favorite hobbies?”
“If you were a hot dog and you were starving, would you eat yourself?”
3.Coming off as an overly picky guy
“I only date brunettes that are shorter than 5’4”
“I prefer talking to women that have graduate level educations”
If your standards are ridiculous, you’ll turn a woman off even if she meets those lofty standards.
A better qualification approach
Be different than the other guys. Be more creative. Qualify by giving her compliments but not the same ones she receives all the time. Women like guys that are different. Attractive women hear, “you’re so hot”, “you’re so sexy”, “you have a nice ass”, etc. all the time. It gets old.
Compliment the things other guys don’t typically compliment her on. But don’t make the compliment seem phony. Truly mean it. Find something about her other than her appearance that you could compliment her on.
Here’s an example. One night I was out at a club and met this beautiful woman that was getting hit on by every dude in the club. I knew if I was going to have a chance with her I had to be different.
I went up to her and let her know that I heard her chatting with her friends and I thought her comments were hysterical. I then told her I love a woman with a great sense of humor.
I didn’t say one thing about how pretty she was or how amazing her ass was. I simply gave her a compliment about her sense of humor. This helped put me above the other guys in the club. Guess who ended up taking her home that night? Yep…yours truly!
Determine what you truly do look for in a woman
Put together a long list of characteristics you want in a girl. You don’t have to be incredibly picky and only go for women that meet ALL characteristics. But it you don’t have an idea of what you like, it’s hard to truly qualify a girl. And it will be even harder to actually get a girl.
The list should include physical AND personality traits, such as these:
- Average or thin body type
- White teeth
- Nice booty
- Decent size rack
- Long hair
- Smells nice
- Doesn’t smoke
- Sense of humor
- No kids
- Likes sports
When you meet women that don’t have some of the things you look for, it will be hard to talk to them, or it will be hard to get aroused if they don’t have the physical traits you’re attracted to.
Here are some reasons you will struggle to get her in bed if you don’t properly qualify her:
(She mentions she is an avid basketball fan) you tell her, “I’m glad you like basketball because I have the NBA Ticket on DirecTV. Oh, and a 58-inch screen!”
(She mentions she donates to Special Olympics) you tell her, “That’s super cool. It shows you care about others. I donate to various charities as well and have mad respect for those that do as well”.
If you meet a woman that doesn’t have certain things like these in common, it’s going to be an uphill battle to get her in bed. What are you going to talk to her about if you have nothing in common? It’s hard to fake it.
Once your options increase, you’ll become pickier
At first, your list of physical traits (especially) might be slim. But once you become more experienced with women, that list will grow. Get to know her as best as possible. If you don’t qualify her, you’ll have a difficult time sealing the deal with her. You’ll just be “another guy” to her.