If there’s one thing most guys care about more than anything else in a woman it’s beauty. Every guy wants a beautiful girl standing next to him that he can claim to be his.
Interestingly enough, I think guys care more about what their friends think of a girl’s beauty than they do themselves. And guys are willing to put up with so much BS just to say they have a hot girlfriend.
Have you ever seen a friend stay in a relationship with a pretty girl, even though he’s miserable?
It happens all the time.
“Babe you treat me like shit I can’t take it, but you’re so pretty I guess I’ll put up with it!”
I’ve dated many girls solely based on their looks. I would choose these girls before getting to know them.
Sometimes I’d get lucky, other times I wouldn’t.
I’m going to tell you why dating a girl purely based on looks won’t make you happy and how you can avoid falling into the beauty trap.
Some time ago
When I was almost 22 years old one of my friends introduced me to a female co-worker of his named Amber. Amber was unbelievably hot. Probably one of the prettiest girls I’ve dated.
We all went out downtown and after talking to her for about 15 minutes, I knew we both felt something. The eye contact got heavier as we shared stories about our upbringing. She twirled her silky, brunette hair between her fingers. I couldn’t stop staring at her beautiful face.
I had to have her.
We ended up dating and I really didn’t know much about this girl yet other than she was drop dead gorgeous her parents were still happily married. I’ll never forget the first time we had sex. While I was thrusting back and forth, I noticed myself getting lost in, somewhere.
I would look at her face and think to myself “How did I do this? How did I attract this beautiful gem? Am I dreaming right now?”
I couldn’t believe she was having sex with me. It was hands down one of the best feelings I had ever experienced.
The next day I spoke to my friend who introduced us. I started off by thanking him for introducing her to me. Then I went on to tell him about how I was going to make her my girlfriend and how great of a girl she was.
Over the next 3 months I really got to know Amber. I learned more details about her life like how she aspired to be a fancy hair stylist, and how much she valued healthy eating.
Amber was really good to me. She was nurturing, she enjoyed cooking, she was always down for the cause.
But the more we hung out the more I began to notice something was off. And then it dawned on me.
Amber was attracted to me because I was fun, I made her laugh a lot, and I was extremely driven.
I was attracted to Amber because her looks were mesmerizing, and she was a total sweetheart.
Do you see the disconnect?
We didn’t connect on the same things.
We liked talking about different things. Our conversations became perpetually less interesting.
It was only a month later that I broke it off. I didn’t think it was right to stay in a relationship where you don’t see a future.
Beauty amounts to a small piece of the pie
Breaking up with Amber was a sad day for me, but we really didn’t have much in common. I found her attractive and she found me cool.
I learned from dating Amber that beauty is a wonderful thing, but it’s not everything. That doesn’t mean you should only date unattractive women.
It means you should really get to know someone before you decide to settle down with them. Spend quality time with them first.
If you are looking to get into a long term relationship you should consider learning a lot about your partner first.
A big problem with going for beauty in a long term thing is…
It doesn’t last forever. Imagine if the only thing you appreciated about your wife was how hot she was.
Then when she starts aging and doesn’t look nearly as good as when you met, you are left with nothing. That relationship will probably result in a divorce.
Many relationships in today’s age develop for the wrong reasons. A perfect example is the rebound. People will date someone just to get over the ex. They don’t know if the new person is a good fit or compatible for them, but they know one thing.
It will help keep them distracted from their ex.
Other relationships begin because a guy is hooking up with multiple girls but he likes one girl the most. Then she wants him to commit to her so he cuts ties with other women and commits.
Eventually he realizes she’s not even the girl he wants to be with, she just happened to be better than the others he was dating. And he chose her because he didn’t want to lose her.
The next time you think about getting into a relationship with someone think about it. And then think about it again.
Relationships are a big deal and it’s only when you turn it into something small that it gets taken less seriously.
Spend enough time with a person to see if you guys are compatible. Usually people don’t fight at all in the first month and if you do, definitely don’t date that person. But the more time you spend with a person, the better you will get to know them and if the two of you are a good fit.
The tough part is finding a girl who is physically attractive and a good fit. But they are out there, and you shouldn’t give up on your search until you are fully satisfied.