I’m doing some early-year cleaning this week, trying to make good on a New Year’s Resolution to get rid of some of the junk I’ve let pile up the past few years.
I don’t know about you, but cleaning out old stuff is always a trip down memory lane for me. As I was digging through the bottom of one of my closets, I came across a box full of stuff from my first year of college.
For the most part, the contents brought back good memories, including a few that are probably too juicy to write about in a public forum like this. Let’s just say a lot of what I talk about here was learned from my experiences back then.
A lot of the stuff in that box reminded me of this girl I dated named Angie, my one steady girlfriend from that year of school. Angie was feisty, fun, beautiful, and blonde. But man, that girl drove me nuts too.
I remember once going over to her place 15 minutes early to pick her up, only to have to wait in her living room for well over an hour while she “got herself ready.”
She had lots of other quirks too. She was insanely jealous, and if I so much as made a sideways glance at another woman in public, I instantly got a dirty look or an elbow to the ribs.
The worst was the way she was when she was mad, especially if I was the reason. We had more than one knock-down, drag-out yelling match during our time together.
I’ve had my share of girlfriends since Angie, and though she was the most explosive girl I ever dated, all my girlfriends have had a few habits that drove me crazy. Most of the guys I know have had the same experience, and a few have dated girls that made Angie look like a little angel.
Based on my own experience and that of the many guys I’ve talked to about this issue, here is my list of the top things girlfriends do that drive men crazy:
1. Ask “What were you thinking?”
So, maybe this is a pet peeve of mine, but I think when a girl asks her man this question, it’s like she’s driving a knife to the center of his pride. It’s the kind of question our Mom would ask us. We don’t need it from our girlfriends too. I know a guy who got in a car wreck late one night and got busted up pretty. His girlfriend, who often nagged him about staying out to late, came barging into his hospital room the next morning to see him, and it wasn’t pretty. The first words out of her mouth were, “What were you thinking?” My blood boils just thinking about it.
2. Keep Frenemies
I just do not understand why some women invest so much time and energy with “friends” they can’t stand. The killer part here? When she spends some time around a frenemy, she’ll come back and complain your ear off about how evil they are and all the ways she wishes she could just be rid of them. I think I speak for the entire male gender here when I say, if you want to dump a frenemy, just do it. We’re as tired of hearing about them as you are of dealing with them.
3. Lie About the “Number”
There are two things women are seemingly allowed to lie about: their age and the number of guys they’ve slept with. I, for my part, don’t really care how many guys a girl has been with. I want to know that she’s consistently safe and consistently horny. Give me that kind of girl any day. To some extent, I want a girl to know what she’s doing in bed. And since we’re talking girlfriends here, I want honesty too. If this turns into something more permanent, I don’t want someone who’s afraid to tell me the truth about any area of her life.
4. Never Initiate Sex
Speaking of experience in bed, a girl who never ever starts the action is one that will eventually drive a guy nuts. You start to wonder if she’s really into you or if she’s just sort of coasting along in your relationship. Sex to a man is an affirmation that his woman desires him. So yes, it’s important that a woman be receptive to your sexual advances. But it’s just as important that she occasionally make a pass at you all on her own.
5. Pull the “I’m So Fat” Routine
Often disguised as an innocent question about their wardrobe, when your girlfriend asks “do these pants make me look fat?” that’s not what they really mean. If your girlfriend asks these kinds of questions, you can be sure she’s insecure about her appearance. You need to be able to answer quickly, directly, and sincerely. The words are: “You’re the most attractive thing I’ve ever seen.” She may still scoff at you, but at least she won’t be pissed.
6. Act Catty About Other Women
If an obviously attractive guy walks past, you won’t hear another guy call him a “douchebag” under his breath. At least, not just because of the good-looking part. And yet, I’ve stood next to more than one woman who’s muttered the word “bitch” the moment a beautiful woman walks in the door. What is this? You’re on a great date with a great guy (me!). That bombshell who just walked in the door is no threat to you. I wish beautiful women would stop being so mean about the appearance of other women.
7. Get Way too Emotional
When your dating a girl who cries at everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, life is miserable. Half the time she can’t even get words out to tell you whether she’s mad, sad, happy, or physically injured. So you stand there, waiting for her to get control of herself, wondering if she’s about to ask you for a ride to the hospital or whether you’re about to be dragged to the doghouse again.
8. Ignore You When You’re Together
I once went on a first date with a girl who spent the entire time texting back and forth with her mom. Talk about a waste of an evening. Needless to say, there was no second date. There are all kinds of ways girls can ignore their men, though. A friend of mine dated a girl who never wanted to do anything but go shopping with him, and it wasn’t because she wanted his help. She just hated going to the store by herself.
9. Ignore You When You’re Apart
Some girls want you to be available to them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. First of all, no one needs that kind of access to you. It’s ok if she expects you to be receptive, but you’ve got a life outside of your relationship. What’s really bad is when she expects you to be available to her 100% of the time, but doesn’t return that kind of responsiveness to you. If she ignores your calls and texts but then gets pissed when you do the same, you’ve got a problem. Whatever kind of access she wants from you, you deserve the same kind of access to her.
10. Spend Hours Getting Beautiful
If you’ve ever heard the phrase “I have to go put my face on,” you know the pain I’m talking about here. Some girlfriends would rather be dead than caught out in public without their hair and makeup perfectly done. To be sure, it’s great when your girl wants to look nice for you. But there’s something to be said for a woman who’s equally confident with her hair in a ponytail and little to no makeup on.
11. Have Weird Food Habits
It’s one thing to if your girlfriend is conscious of what she eats. That’s a good thing. But it’s completely different when she’s constantly bouncing from one diet to the next, especially if she’s always whining to you about how hard it is to lose weight. Who wants to discuss the details of cellulite retention anyway? Worse, when you’re at a restaurant together and your date orders a $15 plate of cabbage, can you really get away with ordering the porterhouse and baked potato with extra sour cream? Good for you if you order what you want anyway. Just be prepared for her to give you dirty looks the rest of the night.
12. Wear too Much Makeup
There’s makeup that accentuates and compliments a woman’s beauty. That’s what confident women wear. And then there’s face paint, which, unless you’re going to a Halloween party or a college football game, no woman should be wearing on a date with you. How are you supposed to make out later with that going on?
13. Use the “Time of the Month” Excuse
A healthy sex life can includes consistent together time, no matter the time of the month. Girlfriends shouldn’t just say “it’s that time of the month. Sorry.” For a guy, that basically says, “I like you enough for you to be my boyfriend. But deep down, I’m really not that attracted to you.” Even if it’s not sex, there are plenty of other things a woman could do, if she wanted to. If your girlfriend gave you the world’s best blowjobs once a month, would you do everything you could to make her happy 100% of the time? You bet your ass you would.
No one’s perfect (including you), and every relationship has quirks that you have to endure. But if your girlfriend makes you put up with too many of the things on this list, let this be a sign that you probably deserve better.
What about you? Have you ever dated a girl that drove you crazy?