A few weeks ago a friend of mine called me with this crazy story about a woman he’d recently gotten involved with.
He and a work buddy were at a bar one evening, talking shop like they often do. They’re both single at the moment, so of course both took notice when, a little while after they got there, three drop-dead beautiful women sat down at the table next to them.
The ladies noticed my friend and his buddy too, and within minutes they had pushed the two tables together to make a party of five.
“It was great,” my friend said. “No pickup line required. We just smiled at them, they smiled back, and we were in.”
My friend has pretty good game, so I wasn’t really surprised to hear the story. It just goes to show you: if you’re confident, present yourself well whenever you’re in public, and you actually get out of house from time to time, you really can meet beautiful women, any time, and any place.
What did surprise me was the mess that night turned into for him.
The Danger of Adultery
One of the women at the table that night took a serious interest in my friend right from the get go. She was tall, brunette, and smart too. Everything my friend looks for in a woman.
One thing led to another as the evening progressed, and the two ended up back at my friend’s place, where, to put it mildly, a good time was had by all.
Afterward, though, the night took a sour turn. My friend’s brunette beauty got really quiet once the action was over. Being the good guy that he is, he asked her what was wrong.
Turns out she was married, though (obviously) she wasn’t happy being with her husband. She wanted kids and he didn’t. He had a job that took him out of town a lot and she resented his absence. They were rarely intimate, and when they were it usually ended in crying.
Lately, when he was gone, she had taken to going out with her friends to have a good time, and had ended up in a few strange beds over the last few months.
The trouble for my friend was this: she made it clear that he was different than the other guys she’d had flings with lately. She liked him and genuinely wanted to see him again.
In other words, she didn’t just want sex with him. She wanted a relationship.
What to Do When a Married Woman’s Into You
If this happens to you, I have three words for you: Just Walk. Away.
My friend thought he was falling for this woman, and that’s all kinds of bad for him. That’s what I told him, and that’s what I’m telling you. If a married woman wants a long-term relationship with you, there’s almost no chance it’s going to end well.
To be clear, I’m not saying my friend did anything wrong here. And if you want to go have yourself a one-nighter with a willing partner of any relationship status, you go be my guest.
Just know that you’re taking a risk. I know that most of the people who read this blog want to get better at meeting women, and of course that includes getting laid from time to time.
But there’s more to it when you’re talking about adultery. My hunch is that, deep down, most of the people reading this eventually want to find that one person with whom you can build a great long-term relationship. If that’s true for you, allowing yourself to get caught up in an affair with a married woman just isn’t going to help you over the long-term.
Here are 5 reasons why you really, really need to walk away:
1. Your Chances of Success are 1 in 100
I’m not a big stats guy, but here’s one that should sober you up: research suggests that only one in 10 affairs leads to a long-term relationship. And of those, only one in 10 are successful for the long term.
Translation: you have a 1 in 100 chance of a successful long-term relationship when you start a with adultery. If you let your loins get the best of you, you’re setting yourself up for failure, simple as that.
It isn’t hard to see why this is, by the way. Long-term relationships are built on trust. But when both sides know the other is willing to commit (or participate in) adultery, that’s not exactly a foundation of trust you’re working from. It shouldn’t surprise you that these relationships almost always end in failure.
2. Affairs Are Often Red Flags of Deeper Problems
Life isn’t a porno, and affairs are never just about sex. The vast majority of the time, women cheat on their husbands because they feel emotionally distant from them.
Maybe she married one of those guys who worked hard to “win” her, but after the wedding he pretty much just moved on to his career or his favorite sports team or whatever. This kind of stuff happens all the time, and it’s a huge reason why so many women feel distant from their husbands.
So she takes off her rings, goes out to a bar with her friends, and enjoys the attention of the men she meets there. That’s fine for that one night, but what happens later? If you’re the one she ends up with, you’ve got a problem on your hands. Just because you made her feel wanted again for an evening, having you around isn’t going to fix her underlying problem. She needs to talk to her husband, her therapist, or maybe even her lawyer.
If she’s unwilling to tackle life problems head on, she’s probably not a good candidate for a long-term relationship anyway, regardless of marital status.
3. The Sex Won’t Last
Sex is an innately emotional experience, especially for women, and doubly especially for a woman who’s committing adultery.
So if you’re dreaming of a regular “no-strings-attached” relationship, think again my friend. She’s using you to fill a hole in her life, and that hole is almost certainly not her carnal need get herself off. She can accomplish that just fine with no help from you.
no sex toy can take the place of the real-life attention of another human being. It’s an emotional need, not a physical one. When you have an adulterous fling and think it’s going to last beyond a night, don’t come whining to me when you also become the go-to guy for every bit of emotional turmoil she has for the length of your relationship.
4. It Makes You Look Bad
It makes you look bad when you’re the guy who’s screwing another guy’s wife, simple as that. Many times it’s someone you know or at least someone with common connections (otherwise you never would have met in the first place). When your friends find out (which they will), they’ll never look at you the same.
Don’t be the guy who loses friends over sex. Hooking up with a married woman just flat makes you look bad, and that’s something that can hurt your prospects for future relationships and even for things like future jobs or business opportunities.
5. You Deserve Way Better
Most importantly, you deserve better.
If you want sex, you can get it. Really, you can. If you don’t believe me, sign up for my newsletter and read my free eBook How to Become a Chick Magnet. Just by doing a few of the things I teach in there, you’ll be able to consistently meet women, some of whom will be willing to sleep with you. You don’t have to settle for the affections of a married woman who’s not going to be anything but trouble for you.
In other words, I believe that you can meet women who are beautiful, a good match for you, and (shocker) actually available. But when you get yourself all mixed up with a woman you have zero chance with long-term, you rob yourself of the opportunity to go out and meet them.
I know there’s this fantasy you have about getting it on with a married woman. The prospect or regular, commitment-free sex is enticing indeed. But I’m here to tell you, there’s a reason they call that a fantasy. If you get yourself involved with a married woman, you’re probably going to end up hurt, not to mention the fact that it will keep you from meeting the really great, available women you really should be meeting instead.
Stay away from married women my friends. You don’t want the hassle, and you deserve better anyway.
When you find yourself the object of a married woman’s attention, remember just remember the three words I told my friend:
Just. Walk. Away.
What have you guys seen? Do you know of a time when adultery actually turned into a successful long-term relationship?