Always a friend – never a boyfriend! That was the story of my life in high school. So many memories…so few worth remembering.
Seemed like I was forever trapped in the ‘friend zone’ – someplace between ‘gotta have it’ and ‘never gonna get it’.
But it wasn’t for lack of trying. If there had been a class in “Getting a Girlfriend,” I would have easily earned an “A” for attendance, an “A” for effort, and an “F” for results.
Dating and members of the opposite sex were a complete mystery to me. I knew both were obtainable because so many of my friends were dating…girls!
They were talking to girls, walking with girls, even kissing girls. How did they do it? What was the secret? It didn’t look that hard for them, so why was it so impossible for me?
I was nothing if not determined, and open to anything that could help me transform my solo student existence into anything remotely resembling a love life…heavy ‘like’ would have been totally okay.
After watching my fruitless struggles to obtain what any self-respecting teenage boy wants and needs – attention from someone other than himself, a friend of mine took pity on me and decided it was his duty to help me get a date…by any means possible.
During my senior year, we concocted a plan too clever to fail, and one that only a truly desperate guy would even attempt to pull off…my friend would send text messages to a girl for me, and I would simply prepare myself for the relationship to follow. It worked!
Not only did the ingenuous plan work, I had a bona fide girlfriend who actually liked me and liked to do things with me. We hugged, we kissed…we did all the things parents don’t want to know their kids are doing. It was just like I imagined and better. And then she moved.
San Francisco was a long way from me and so my foray into a normal, satisfying relationship ended as abruptly as it had begun. I was alone again.
At 19, I was going to frat parties with friends but beginning to think I was destined for a life of solitary companionship. Talking to female ‘friends’ was not only growing old, it just added to my frustration. My attempts at reigniting my love life fizzled before they got started. I became afraid to make a move on girls for fear of rejection.
By 20, I was struggling to reconcile the fact it had been two years since I had been with a girl. It was affecting me mentally, emotionally and to a very real degree, physically. I finally decided to do something.
I read books and online articles, studied pick-up lines, listened to audio books, attended seminars on dating…basically reached any way I could to find help, but still came up empty.
At the ripe old age of 21, a mature age for someone locked in the world of lovelessness, I met a guy on a dating forum named DJ Fuji, who was in the same position as me. He was getting nowhere with women, but he was doing something I wasn’t…he was actually going out regularly and approaching girls to get better. I hadn’t thought of that.
Fuji took me under his wing and we dedicated three nights a week for a year in an effort to understand the mystery that was…women.
What were their attraction triggers? How do they evolve from a ‘meet’ interaction to sexual readiness? We chronicled our experiences every night and documented our sticking points as we figured out ways to get past them.
It took me just under 8 months of going out 3 nights a week to finally find romance and sexual success. It was pretty sad. But after that first lay, my dating skills just kept getting better. So much so, that eventually options began presenting themselves. I could single out a girl I wanted and as long as she wasn’t married or in a relationship, she was mine. The student had grown into the master.
Fuji and I then took everything we learned and created a 3-day seminar to teach the guys in our town how to achieve the results we had found. They loved it. We expanded to other cities – Las Vegas, New York, Washington DC, even London.
Nothing in life has given me more satisfaction than being able to help the males of our species get the results they want – and deserve – with women. I know exactly where they are coming from. I spent more time in that place than any man should have to, and I am committed to helping guys pass though it in the shortest time possible.
After coaching countless love-starved young men for two years, I went on to help my dad with the family business. However, I continued coaching in my spare time and still have an itch to give back to the community. I’ve started this blog to do just that. I hope you enjoy my free content and sincerely hope it gets you laid 🙂